Phyllis Nasta Holistic Therapy

Counseling, Massage Therapy, Education

Is Counseling Practical?

Here are a few examples of how Counseling helps people identify and move through psychological blocks, which then allows them to move forward in practical life decisions.  I'm using gender neutral pronouns which aren't grammatically correct, but it protects identity. 

 a person came to counseling because they were a manager of a department, very well liked and successful.  This person , however was extremely stressed and ready to quit the job.  One of their employees was essentially bullying them. In just five sessions we identified the source of distress which was childhood frustration over an authoritarian father, and we worked that out emotionally and the manger learned assertive skills, how to set and keep boundaries, and most importantly, to stand their ground rather than fleeing.  The employee's bullying stopped because it got no rise out of the manager any more and in fact, the bully realized they would be written up and in danger of being fired if it continued.  This was an example of a situation where the manager had to go back and identify and work through childhood issues. Simply telling the manager to "do this" or "do that" to solve the problem, as a management workshop or training manual might have done, wouldn't have worked because of the emotional resistance to standing up to the bully. Once that was faced it became easy for assertiveness to work. A career was saved.

 - This person was in a romantic relationship with someone who had a lot of debt. The person wanted to pay it off and help them out. We looked at the underlying motivation and it revealed some feelings of inadequacy that were leading to the hope that if the person paid off the debt, the romantic interest would stay with them and love them even more. Once these feelings were brought to light and the work done on their root causes, the person realized that paying off debt wouldn't solve the problem because the partner was a spendthrift.  So, that issue had to be dealt with as a couple issue, without the rescue maneuver.  Practical result ?  saved the client lots of money and set up a healthier relationship.

 A person discovered that their spouse was involved in online sex chat rooms. The person was ready to throw the entire relationship out the window. In looking at the underlying cause of that reaction it came out that the person had known about one of their parents having sex outside the marriage and had never told anyone, and had been pretty upset by it. We worked on those feelings and once they were out, they could look at the current situation and come up with a plan to address the current situation and try to save the marriage. Turned out the partner was very willing to work on it.  Result?  a generally stable marriage and family was saved from divorce. 

A teenager worried that they were depressed because of a lackluster social life.  I asked some questions to get to the underlying feelings and what came out was that they weren't depressed at all, but simply very shy. The family was so used to the shyness, which wasn't as prominent at home , that they didn't identify it as a practical problem to be solved.  Once we ruled out depression we were able to come up with concrete behaviors to address the passivity the person exhibited in public. Result - no worrying about depression , practical result was an increase in social relationships after a month of trying new behaviors. 





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